07 Jan Navigating Parenthood in Public Spaces

Navigating Parenthood in Public Spaces

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet vulnerable roles we can take on. While it’s deeply personal, it often happens in very public ways, especially in Hoboken, where we love to live life out-and-about! Whether it’s calming a crying child in Dino & Harry’s Steakhouse, managing a tantrum during our weekly grocery run at Kings, or simply interacting with your child at Church Square Park, the feeling of being watched can be both uncomfortable and overwhelming.

If you’ve ever felt self-conscious or judged while parenting in front of others, you’re not alone. Many parents experience this (especially first time parents!) and it’s important to know that these feelings are normal and even expected. Let’s explore why this discomfort arises and how working through it can help us grow as parents.

Why Parenting in Public Feels So Hard

1. The Fear of Judgment Parenting is a deeply personal journey, but it often feels like it’s on display for public critique. Social norms, cultural expectations, and unsolicited advice can make even the most confident parent question their choices when others are watching.
2. Internalized Pressure to Be Perfect Many parents hold themselves to impossibly high standards. When parenting happens in front of others, any deviation from those standards—a child’s outburst, a stern tone, or a decision to give in—can feel like a reflection of failure.
3. Lack of Privacy for Trial & Error Parenting is a constant learning process, full of trial and error. It’s challenging to try new approaches or handle difficult situations when an audience is present, adding pressure to “get it right” on the first try.

The Benefits of Embracing the Discomfort

While it’s natural to feel uncomfortable, parenting in public offers unique opportunities for growth. Here’s how reframing the experience can help:

1. Modeling Resilience for Your Child Children learn from observing how we handle challenges. When you parent authentically, even in uncomfortable situations, you’re showing your child that it’s okay to make mistakes, adapt, and keep going.
2. Strengthening Your Confidence Over time, the more you face public parenting moments, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to stay calm and grounded. Each experience builds resilience and reduces self-doubt.
3. Fostering Empathy and Connection Many people watching you parent—whether they’re also parents or not—can relate to your experience. Your vulnerability can foster understanding, connection, and even a supportive smile or gesture that helps you remember you’re normal.

If you’re feeling stuck and frozen when parenting in public, maybe it’s time to up your parenting skills and understanding of your child’s developmental stage. A few sessions can boost your confidence and give you specific tools to use in those tough public moments. Starr Therapy has your back 🙌